Email: lome@guidance2growth.co.za
Cell: 082 453 8132
011 794 6383


Medi-Focus, 691 Taurus Avenue, Sundowner

Hartbeespoort Medical Centre
387 Beethoven Street, Hartbeespoort

Relationship Counselling

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About Imago

Imago Relationship Therapy is an integrated theory and process for working with couples, parents, and children, business colleagues, and others who seek to enhance the relationships they share. Based on the ground-breaking work of Harville Hendrix, PhD, author of “Getting the Love You Want”, “Keeping the Love You Find”, “Giving the Love That Heals”, and “Receiving Love”, Imago therapy is a wonderfully effective and safe approach for helping relationships grow into a deeper understanding and honest relating as each individual evolves into greater wholeness within their relational context.The basic assumption of Imago (Latin word for Image pronounced Im-ah-go) is that committed partnerships have a higher calling/mission than simply the pursuit of happiness. The purpose is to help each other heal the childhood ‘wounds’ that have resulted from imperfect parenting. Often people incorrectly assume that it is only in homes of abuse and profound neglect that “wounding occurs”.  The premise of Imago is that we are called into relationship in order to heal these relational wounds. Because we are born in relationship, and we are wounded in relationship (by imperfect parents), healing needs to occur within a relationship.The basic principles of Imago Relationship Therapy are as follows:

  • We were born whole and complete.
  • We became wounded during the early nurturing and socialization stages of development by our primary caretakers.
  • We have a composite image of all the positive and negative traits of our primary caretakers deep in our unconscious mind. This is called the Imago. It is like the unconscious blueprint of the one we need to be our partner in a committed, intimate relationship.
  • We look for someone who is an “Imago match,” that is, someone who matches up with the composite image of our primary caretakers. This is important because we marry or commit for the purpose of healing and finishing the unfinished business of childhood. Our parents are the ones who wounded us, but a primary love partner who matches their traits is their stand-in.
  • Romantic love is the door to a committed relationship and/or marriage and is nature’s way of connecting us with the perfect partner for our eventual healing.
  • We move into a power struggle as soon as we make a commitment to this person. The power struggle is necessary, for imbedded in a couple’s frustrations lies the information for healing and growth.
  • The first two stages of a committed relationship, “romantic love” and the “power struggle,” are engaged in at an unconscious level. Our unconscious mind chose our partner for the purpose of healing childhood wounds.
  • Inevitably, our love partner is incompatible with us and least able to meet our needs and most able to wound us all over again.
  • The goal of Imago Relationship Therapy is to align our conscious mind, which usually wants happiness and good feelings, with the agenda of the unconscious mind, which wants healing and growth. Thus, the goal of therapy is to assist clients to develop conscious, intimate, committed relationships.
  • This transition cannot take place through insight alone. Specific skills and processes are necessary that need to be practiced daily to shift us from having an unconscious relationship to a conscious relationship.
  • It takes commitment, courage, consciousness, patience, and love to create a safe, loving, and passionate relationship.

Sessions


What to expect

The Imago relationship therapy approach is an integrated approach that requires commitment from both spouses.
First therapy session:

The first therapy session is a 1.5 hour session between both partners that is focused on the establishment of the therapy relationship as well as establishing an experience of connection between the couple. At the end of the first session, we will agree on the path forward with regards to follow-up sessions, workshops, articles and books to work through etcetera.

Benefits
The benefits of therapy are that you will:

  • Learn how  to talk to each other in a meaningful way about relationship issues
  • Understand your own behaviour and feelings
  • Understand the behaviour and feelings of your spouse
  • Understand the core dynamics that exist within your relationship and how this is creating conflict
  • Experience a deepened connection with your spouse
  • Experience a sense of being heard and feeling understood
  • Develop a well-articulated future vision for your image and learn how to enable this vision on a daily basis with your spouse
  • Talk about your relationship difficulties in a safe, empathic and contained environment

Couplehood course

Imago Couplehood CourseWhen relationships get tough, it can be hard to listen, and impossible to feel heard. The Imago Couplehood course will help you to connect with your partner using a new way of talking together. So:

  • Iif you have felt like you have reached a dead end in your relationship …
  • If you have dreamt about love and happiness , but instead have succumbed to ‘reality’ and compromise…
  • If you are focused on building the foundation of a long and happy life together…
  • If you are in a good relationship and want to deepen the connection with your partner…

Then the Imago Couplehood course is just what you and your spouse need to deepen the connection in your relationship.

What to expect …

  • Learn communication skills that will foster understanding, empathy and safety
  • Enhanced empathy for your partner
  • Understand the conflicts and frustrations playing out in your relationship
  • Learn how to initiate, rekindle and maintain fun and passion in your relationship

Cost: R3000 per couple (can be claimed back from medical aid)

Dates: 30-31 July 2016

Venue: La Vue Guesthouse

Contact lome@guidance2growth.co.za to book your spot.

Fees


Sessions are charged at medical aid rates and can be claimed from medical aid. Contact your medical aid to ascertain what your annual allowance is for therapy. The costs of therapy are also tax-deductible.

FAQ’s


What if I want to come for couples counselling, but my partner is not interested?

1. Ask your partner to read through the following two articles:

2. Ask him/her to attend just one session with you before he/she decides to throw the idea out completely

When is it too late for relationship counselling?
It is never too late or early to seek couples counselling, as the aim of the counselling will be to deepen the connection between you and your partner, no matter where you are in your relationship. It is never too late to save your relationship, even if you are on the brink of divorce. I can help you to renew your relationship with your partner.

What should I expect from couples counselling?
Imago relationship therapy creates a safe environment without judgement or blame where you and oyur partner kan learn to co create a healthy relationship. Together we will explore and heal the underlying pain that exists in your relationship. The sessions will not just focus on how to resolve conflict, but it will also lead you on the path of re-romanticising your relationship and passion. A minimum of 8-10 sessions is required to enable a meaningful change in your relationship. If there are issues of affairs, addictions or divorce involved it will take much longer to restore the connection within the relationship.

What will be required from us during the sessions?
You will have to do lots of hard work!  Many therapists believe that the progress made during therapy sessions relies heavily on the abilities and inputs of the therapist. I however believe that the progress a couple makes during therapy sessions is directly correlated with the level of commitment that the couple shows towards the process and their willingness to put in the hard work that their relationship needs.

Will I be the judge of your relationship?
As your therapist I will always remain neutral towards your relationship. My job is to deepen the connection between you and your partner and in my experience, who is right and who is wrong has little impact on the depth of the connection. My interest during your therapy sessions will be focused on creating an environment that fosters safety, respect and understanding for both of you.

What if we are not married?

I also work with couples who are not married, but are in a committed and serious relationship.

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